There seem to be a lot of excuses for the blatant sexism in Chinese society. “It’s the government’s fault.” “Men do more work and therefore deserve more respect.” “Women want it.” “It’s right; Confucius (a man) said so.” Et cetera, et cetera.
While I do not claim to speak for all Chinese women, I also believe that I am not the only one of my kind; the kind who thinks that all of the above excuses are total bullshit. The sexism in Chinese society cannot be blamed on anything other than Chinese society, culture, and tradition. The medieval west was sexist, but in some cases, they almost seemed enlightened compared with what some Chinese believe.
I shall explore the manifestations of Chinese sexism in three parts because I think it warrants some scrutiny. One cannot counter something if one does not understand it.
Sexism in Chinese familial structure
In the medieval west, both women and men had their places in family trees. We know that the mother of Baldwin IV of Jerusalem was Agnes de Courtenay. She wasn’t a particularly important woman, having never been queen, but we know her name because she was the mother of a king. And we know that Balian of Ibelin’s mother’s name was Helvis de Ramlah because she was also an important part of the family’s heritage. In China, only the males are recorded in family trees. When my brother was born, a huge fuss was made because he was the son of an only son, and therefore, he was the one who would continue this branch of the family. Never mind that he had an older sister. His name will go in the family tree. My name will not. Once again, going back to Balian of Ibelin, we know that he had two sons and two daughters, and that his daughter Helvis was his firstborn. If we go back to his Chinese contemporaries, we will find out their sons’ names and their father’s names, but not the names of their mothers, wives or daughters. If this exclusion of women from family trees isn’t called sexism, then what constitutes as sexism?
One’s paternal relatives are considered to be more closely related and more important. In the olden days, it was considered perfectly acceptable and ideal to marry one’s mother’s sister’s child, but highly unacceptable to marry one’s father’s brother’s child. In the Chinese language, cousins on one’s paternal side, so long as they share the same surname, are referred to as one’s brothers or sisters. The cousins on one’s maternal side are known as cousins. It still happens in the modern age. Chinese regard the western tendency to call all cousins ‘cousins’ as highly irrational, confusing and disorderly. This shows a blatant preference for the paternal side of the family, once again stressing the masculine link as the more important familial link. Genetically speaking, one receives equal amounts of DNA from both parents, and yet the mother’s bloodline is considered to be of secondary importance. I would think this is sexism.
If you’ve read Jane Austen, then you’ll probably remember how the girls get a set sum of money as their inheritance whilst the boys get whatever estates, investments etc. that their fathers had. It might seem like an awfully unfair way of distributing parental wealth, but that’s fairer than Chinese custom, in which sons get everything and daughters get nothing. That’s what happened to my grandfather’s earthly belongings. It’s not that he didn’t love his daughters; he loved them very much. Rather, it’s got something to do with the fact that once women are married, and women are expected to get married, they technically cease to be part of their natal family. It still happens to this day and age, although I am sensing some changes.
There is an old saying that before she marries, a woman must obey her father. After she marries, she must obey her husband. And after she is widowed, she must obey her son. Therefore, it was expected that in her whole life, a woman would obey a man. In the modern era, this notion of obeisance, at least towards one’s son, seems to have faded out somewhat, but the idea that a woman should obey men still exists. I refuse to believe that all Chinese women want this, that the government would promote this (it’s not good for them, really, because women are quite capable of paying taxes if they work) or that it has anything to do with men being smarter and better than women (because psychological research has shown that men are, in fact, not superior to women).
Surreality-A Writer's Life 
That’s actually really interesting, and of course, quite scary. I’ll admit that, though I knew there was sexism in Chinese culture, I didn’t know it was to that extent. It will be something to see as China becomes even more of a global player (as it has already begun to be), because maybe attitudes will shift. Who knows?
I hope attitudes will shift too, although the pattern I’m seeing is that they’re going back to the more conservative confucian tradition with a consumerist twist, which is quite worrying. Thank you for the comment.
I agree, very interesting. I’m a software Engineer and I work with many Chinese people. And I do mean Chinese, i.e. they were born and raised there. I have worked with them for several years and they have not done anything to indicate they are sexist. However there are some interesting facts in her post I was not aware of.
Mike are you still alive?
It is hard to shift. Gender discrimination is as much part of China. Gender inequality stretches back centuries and is deeply entrenched. It will never make change in china. Discrimination starts before women are even born.
Oh God I can’t believe this is the first hit that google gives for sexism in China.
And that is why Google is considered to be the best search engine on the internet!
we always keep track of our family tree because it is exciting to know the family tree ;’.
her point is that the family tree excludes all the women in it! So it’s not really a family tree is it? especially if half of your ancestors, grandmother, mother, aunts etc are all missing, just because they were women. Which is clearly very sexist, quite disrespectful and simply unfair and a disgrace.
The real irony is that all of our mitochondrial DNA is passed from our mothers and mothers’ mothers. We only receive 24 chromosomes from our fathers but our mothers provide us with more…hm including the cellular material itself.
Thank you somuch for writing this. Im doing a research project about Sexism in China………. so thank you……
But why are the government aborting girls?
No, the government is not aborting girls. It’s done in private and illegally. In China, it’s illegal to screen for the sex of an unborn child because some people abort female foetuses; due to the one child policy, many families want their only child to be a boy so he can carry on the family name.
if girls are not being aborted then why does this web site say so! try checking it out –>
http://www.blerp.com/d/8654?name=China's+One+Child…Sexism
I did not say that abortion of female foetuses is not taking place. What I am saying is that the Chinese government is not doing the aborting. People are doing it illegally and the government is trying to stop it, but it still happens.
ok, thank you for explaining it more! 🙂
Hi just wanted to let you know that while i am technically intersex i am seen as a man in society due all the facial hair and other stuff. But yes i think thats total bs. Women do equal if not more than men do. Hell just stick men in front of a tv with a beer and they are happy. That is unless they are intellectually enlightened like some of my friends. I just want to tell you i for one am for ending sexism in general and in everyday life and I continue to do so. Just thought that maybe I could give you some hope for the future. But also as far as getting belongings yes I understand how you feel. But in a bit different sense as my family squabbles over who gets what upon someone”s death. I cant even get a picture and they squbble about the person’s belongings. But oh well. Just be true to yourself and keep writing. Then no one can ever say you never existed. The sexist family tree thing is total bs too. Id never do that to anyone ever. Well sorry for rambling but I do hope ive at least for a second put a smile upon your face in hopes for a better sexism and racism free future 🙂
I understand where you’re coming from but this is a pretty sexist comment too: “Hell just stick men in front of a tv with a beer and they are happy. That is unless they are intellectually enlightened like some of my friends.”
Why is it assumed that most men are stupid and incapable of recognising equality among the sexes? Some are “enlightened”. Well let’s rephrase that. Stick a woman in the kitchen and she’ll be happy unless she’s enlightened. Of course it’s not quite analogous since historically men have held all the power, but I don’t think classing a gender essentially as inherently hopeless is useful, ever.
FYI I don’t think it matters but other people do, female feminist and have been knowingly so for the vast majority of my life.
Hey, your post is really invaluable in my opinion. I definitely will keep a close eye on your blog. Please do update.
Due to the unbalanced archives of males and females, numerous of females became extremely protective. Few years after exacerbation of this objectionable issue, minority of the female created their own rules/solutions to deal with “male” such as the mindsets “Men are responsible to support the entire family finically”, “Men ought to offer additional love than women”, “Men are responsible for all the work in the house”, “in spite of any circumstances, men should yield to women”
these quotes make me sick. sigh… my mother is a sexist.
God give them; they are blind.
BL
God *forgive them; they are blind.
I do not agree with those mindsets. What I am saying is that people’s role in society and their importance and the way they behave should not be dictated by their gender. Men and women are equal. They should shoulder the same responsibilities and have the same opportunities. No one should have more opportunities or more responsibilities or more restrictions because of their gender. Why should a little girl not be allowed to play soldier? Why should a little boy not be allowed to wear a tutu if he wants? And what if the little girl wants to be a mechanic and the little boy a nanny? They should be able to do what they want without restrictions based solely on gender.
But what confuses me is if Chinese culture is so sexist, then why are there more women in senior managerial positions (34%) than the US (15%)?
Here’s the paper on it:
http://www.gti.org/Press-room/Proportion%20of%20women%20in%20senior%20management%20falls%20to%202004%20levels.asp
If Chinese culture is sexist, why is a Chinese women more than twice as likely to be in a position of power than her American counterpart?
I have no answer to that. What I have written, I have experienced for myself as a Chinese woman. This is my opinion, and it should not be taken as an objective report on anything. I can tell you that from anecdotal evidence, highly educated women in senior positions are often criticized in Chinese society because they sometimes don’t conform to the expectation that women have to marry and submit to a man, or they are picky about their partners, although the latter seems to be a worldwide phenomenon.
Thanks for your reply 🙂 Your post is definitely insightful and I appreciate you sharing your thoughts.
I actually found your blog searching for more information regarding sexism in various cultures after a friend sent me the link that I posted.
I guess I was quite shocked to see those figures and it’s definitely making me reconsider my worldview.
Probably because we Chinese women are more vocal and assertive about our rights than women of other countries, like Japan. However, it’s tragic that women (albeit less educated and probably from rural areas) will participate in the systematic killing of baby girls solely for the sake of perpetuating the male family name. For this reason alone, I, as a Chinese woman, have decided that my children will take MY last name. If I can’t find a partner who will support me in this then I plan to be artifically inseminated in the future and have children on my own. My family is fully supportive of me.
You know, it’s interesting – the woman with the highest recorded IQ, Marilyn vos Savant shares your belief. She believes that women should take their mother’s last name and men should take their father’s.
I know this is very old, but I just wanted to point out that the data upon the claim that 34% of managerial positions in China are held by women is highly suspect. Check out the original sources and you’ll see that it’s very unlikely that 34% of senior managerial positions are actually held by women in China.
are these women fighting back against the form of control in their culture?
I don’t know about the others, but I am. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone.
While many cultures always seem to view women as inferior to men, I believe that the China is one of the worse. In terms of beauty, in the 19th century, Chinese women would bind their daughters feet so that they would be suitable for marriage. In western society women were also under a lot of pressure for their appearance, but they did things like wear corsets. However China’s practices were much more extreme because the girls were only three years old when their mothers would brake their bones and smash their toes under their feet.
Today, I ask many Asian women and men about their preferences for male or female children. Every time I ask for the reason for a boy they reply, it was because boys can carry the family name. This kind of answer makes me question why is it necessary to have a son to be able to carry the family name.
Footbinding actually started in the 12th century or thereabouts. In Chinese culture, women had to take their husbands’ names when they married, and their children would only take their father’s name. Also, only boys would be recorded in family trees so if you try to look up a family, all you would find are the names of the men descended FROM the men.
This is definitely false. In the Western countries, women take their husband’s last name. In China, especially the PRC, women keep their maiden names. Which planet are you from? Why are you spreading misinformation?
I think you may have been misinformed. In China, after a woman marries, she becomes Mrs (insert husband’s name). In western society, women can choose to adopt their husband’s name, or they can ignore it and keep their maiden name, or compound the surname. The fact is, there is a *choice* involved in western society. In China, a married woman would never consider going by Ms (maiden name).
I agree with the other commenter. ALL the married Chinese couples I know, the woman keeps her maiden name and the children carries the father’s name. I am the child of such a couple. Please explain how you came to a different conclusion?
Is your mother known as Mrs something or Ms Maiden name?
Some non-Western cultures have daughters take their mothers’ last name and sons take their father’s last name.
Also, modern people still have a pretty sick fetish, just like foot binding. It’s call breast augmentation. First, the breasts are not considered universally sexual by all human cultures. This is a Western invention and if you think about it–cutting up a cow’s udders and stuffing some silicone in it and stiching the cow up sounds pretty disgusting, don’t you think. What we are doing today with a woman’s mammary glands (made for feeding children) is no different from the “three-inch golden lotus” that men in dynastic China fetishized. I just saw an ad for breast enlargement downtown today. It’s pretty amazing that people today don’t realize that their fetish for breasts is as weird as the Chinese fetish for feet.
The fact that only the men get recorded is ridiculous because women play as much of an important role in the family as men. Women sacrifice their bodies to bear children, when they marry, they dedicate their lives to their family.
I believe that there is nothing wrong with sexism, it is a natural thing between humans and all of the animal kingdom, such as a lioness food for the male lion, which is natural, not sexist. Also, women are most valuable when they act like a women and do their natural functioning roles, such as nurturing children and cleaning the house as they can multi-task.
The problem is that feminism has told women that doing house-chorus is a bad thing and you should compete against men at their own functions, such as being in leadership positions in the workforce.
Firstly, a women doing house chorus is not something that is laughed at or seen as low to men, in fact it is something that makes women most valuable and attractive because they are doing their own natural roles. I actually find it stressful looking for women these days that would actually behave like women and be like a house wife, due to feminism.
Secondly, women competing against men for high positions in jobs is essentially competing against their natural functions and is impossible, for example if I compete against a dog in a barking competition, the dog would obviously win because it is their function to bark. Therefore, women who want to prove themselves to be as smart, strong and powerful as men is not proving anything valuable for themselves, it is neglecting their female natural roles and responsibilities making them less valuable and attractive.
I have mentioned the female role, but not the men’s roles. In return for a women following their natural roles the men should take care of them, protect them and provide all the needs necessary for them.
I am writing this to expose the problems in feminism not women through many, many, years of seeing the devastation it has done to society. In America, where feminism is most promoted there are high divorce rates, bad families, no order and absolute chaos. In China, it is actually very good at keeping families together because they keep their natural roles, and I will discourage and urge anyone to stop promoting feminism there after seeing all the consequences that are ignored in the politics because they are afraid to hurt women’s feelings.
Please reply to me if you have any questions.
Thank You
I only approved this because I believe in free speech but I sincerely hope you’re trolling.
I only approved this comment because I believe in free speech , John, but I sincerely hope you’re trolling.
Thank you for approving my comment, I believe free speech and public scrutiny is vital for exposing and solving problems. But may I ask why you hope I was “trolling” because I am not too familiar with that word. If it is viewed as a negative word, I want to confirm that I was not trying to incite anything, but just share my experiences about feminism and sexism, which my view is uncommon for people to talk about.
Trolling is an internet activity where someone posts something to try and get a rise out of people. The people who engage in the activity are commonly called trolls.
Firstly, I want to define what feminism means to me. A more accurate way of putting it is gender equality. No one is locked inside a box and forced to conform to a set of man made ideals due to an attribute that they were born with and could not control. With gender equality, a boy may be a make up artist or fashion designer or dress in a skirt if he so wishes with no social repercussions, just as a girl would be able to drive bulldozers and demolish buildings and fix drain pipes for a living if that is what she wants. Gender equality ensures that everyone does what they want and what they’re best at. To be a feminist is to say there is nothing inferior about feminine pursuits and attributes, and actually, pursuits and attributes HAVE no gender. There’s nothing feminine or masculine about pottery or sewing or crochet.
There is no proof to say that women are more capable than men at multitasking. Recent Swedish research claims that the opposite is true: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2223137/Men-ARE-better-multitasking-women-Swedish-researchers-claim.html.
And even if women were better at multitasking, why must they use that for house keeping and raising children? Couldn’t a multitasking woman put her skills to use in running a multi-national corporation. She’d deal with clients, keep employees in check, make sure the numbers are in order, work with government bureaucrats, hold teleconferences with employees in one country while flying to another to deal with clients there, etc?
Modern feminism has never said housework is a bad thing. In fact, housework is very necessary, but why should it be the domain of women? Not all women want to start a family. I have no desire to do so. At least, not at this stage of my life, and I don’t see that changing anytime in the near future. To be a feminist is not to condemn women who do choose the life of marriage, popping out two and a half kids and living in a suburban home and doing all the cleaning and cooking. To be a feminist is to say that these women have the right to choose the life they want, just as other women have the right to choose to be independent, self-sufficient members of the workforce, or a CEO of a multi-national corporation.
In our caveman days, gender roles might have had a place in society. Men were, in general, physically stronger than women, and in a hunter gatherer society it would have made sense to have the men go out and hunt while the women did the less rigorous and less aggressive tasks. However, mentally, women are no less aggressive than men, and in the age of office workers, why shouldn’t a woman go out and contend with her masculine equals, and beat them if she has more merit? Comparing the mental capability of human males and females to a barking competition between a dog and a person is completely off the mark because a dog is of a different species. If you were to compare the barking abilities of a greyhound female to that of a greyhound male, it would be the same.
For a woman to rely on a man to provide for her is to be subservient to him. As a woman, why would I want to submit myself to that kind of slavery? I am not chattel, I am not a pet, I am a fully functional human being with two arms, two legs, and a brain. I would rather be able to enjoy the fruits of my labour and spend my money on whatever I want instead of letting someone regulate my money and my enjoyment of life. What is ‘providing’ for a woman? Keeping her pregnant, fed, and under a roof? That’s not living; that’s subsisting. I want to go out, shop, have fun with my friends, travel where I want when I want without having to answer to anyone. To do that, I need financial freedom.
To say a woman’s function is to raise children and keep house is to reduce her to no more than a womb, and once scientists invent ways to have children gestate outside of the womb (it will be soon), women will be obsolete. The thing is, I am so much more than a baby-making-cleaning-cooking machine. I am a human being with free will, with loves and hates, and It is my choice to be independent and child free. To be a feminist means I can accept other women might not want that, and I will respect their wishes.
I think you are awesome for responding to this man. Most people would not give his views the time of day, since if he had it his way, women would have very little or no economic power, or power at all, including to be as supported as men to make up their own minds about what they want to do with their lives (which is all that feminism asks).
I also appreciate your strength of character in approving his comment. It’s important to show what attitudes are still holding women back. Most people who hold them may not articulate them as bluntly as this man, but they have those values just the same.
dont be a dick
I still think you’re a troll. Your email address is a weird combination of numbers and letters, and you obviously know that this will incite some sort of reaction on the blog of a feminist. However, just to clarify things for anyone reading this blog, I will say why I think you’re wrong and why your argument is based on non-facts.
PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME TO READ.
Today, the majority of people view feminism as a political and social movement purporting to secure equal rights and legal protections for women. However, to properly understand how feminism threatens people’s social competence, it is necessary to distinguish between its political phases and its fundamental governing philosophy. At its heart, feminism represents women’s desire to control men. By attempting to seize male authority through the legal system, women hope to gain special rights and privileges, entitling them from male resources.
What sort of special rights and privileges have women gained? We still get paid less than our male counterparts for doing the same jobs. All we want are equal rights regardless of gender.
But because feminism is masked by feel-good slogans of gender equality, it is often misunderstood and rarely ever opposed. In fact, it thrives on the ignorance and complacency of its victims who unknowingly help perpetuate its damage on society.
So by confining half the world’s capable workforce at home, regardless of whether they want to be there or not, is going to make a healthier society? I can see how that has worked in the past. We had the Spanish Inquisition, genocides, countless civil wars and two world wars under a male dominated world. Yes, that was much better.
However, once its modern political slogans are sifted out, we’re left with a destructive social philosophy that blames men and absolves women.
How have men been blamed for every wrong and women absolved of every sin? Women are still held responsible for their own rapes just because they ‘dressed a certain way’ or ‘looked a certain way at a guy’ or ‘walked in a certain street’. Shouldn’t it be the rapist who is held responsible for not being able to control their own deviant urges?
Not only does feminism poison relationships,
How? By inspiring mutual respect?
it also erodes the very gender functions necessary to maintain healthy relationships and a healthy society. In fact, nothing more aptly captures the destructive spirit of feminism than the age old sentiment: “I don’t need a man!”.
No, I actually don’t need a man, just as a man doesn’t need a woman to be a fully functional human being.
While feminists celebrate the spirit of gender independence, countless disillusioned men go ignored;
Said disillusioned men should try and not think of themselves as just men, but as human beings. If they are disillusioned, then it is their problem, and they should seek help for it. Think about it this way. If your brother were more successful than you and became the best in his field, would you think “oh my God, I suck. I’m not the best!” Or would you say. “Hey, good on you brother. But I ain’t that bad either.” Only an insecure person would be disillusioned by the success of others.
for every woman who believes she can replace the role of a man, there’s a single mother out there creating a future criminal.
Jeffrey Dahmer had a nuclear family of a father and a mother. And lots of single mothers raise fully functional children who contribute to society.
For every wife encouraged to defy her husband’s authority, there’s another record-setting divorce statistic tearing apart society. For every girl taught to resent male leadership, there’s a feminist politician trampling male civil rights.
For every husband seeking to assert his authority just because he’s male, there’s a miserable slave wife who will probably end up being emotionally AND physically abused. If my future husband (if he exists) wants me to respect him, he has to show me that he’s worth respecting by being rational. Having a penis and testicles simply won’t cut it. Do you submit to the idea that the nobility have innate skill to rule over the masses just because they were born to the right parents?
Yet, ironically, feminism purports to protect the rights of women from male oppression. It even goes so far as to associate itself with the civil rights movement of African-Americans.
Well, both the civil rights movement and the feminist movement sought to end oppression.
However, this faulty rationale completely disregards the difference between unjust oppression and natural capacity restriction. In other words, limiting a woman’s job opportunities is not the same as limiting a black man’s job opportunities.
Explain. In both cases, these people are still being limited because of things on their body that don’t actually affect their ability to do the job.
Women are limited by their own natural gender design. For example allowing them into the fire department, this would unnecessarily endanger the lives of others, thus restriction must be put in place to ensure the safety of others.
And I suppose in the office, women’s slender fingers will potentially get tangled up while typing on the keyboard, and our weak little brains are not capable of processing graphs? People these days are hired based on individual merit. It could be that there’s a really tough woman (see: Australia) who’s every bit as strong as some of the boys.
This is not the same thing as preventing a black man from joining the fire department based solely on his skin colour; his physical appearance does not affect his ability to do his job properly, whereas a woman’s lack of upper body strength does limit her job performance.
Again, people should be judged on individual merit rather than stereotypes.
Feminists created this false association with the black civil rights movement as way of circumventing their gender limitations. The misleading comparison between gender limitation and racial oppression allowed feminists to gain sympathy for their dysfunctional cause. But by examining the necessity of limitation, we see just how dangerous feminism is to a healthy society.
Consider how restriction affects a child’s life. Since children lack foresight, they act according to their immediate desires. More often than not, they fail to consider the possible consequences of their actions. Thus, children require healthy restrictions to protect them from their own short-sighted behaviour. If this protection is removed, children will be in danger of suffering the consequences of indulging their reckless whims.
Women in general also lack foresight because, like children, they focus on themselves to a dysfunctional degree.
Show the scientific proof for this, please. A male psychology professor in my university said women were found to think more about the future than men did, in general. I am not sure how true this is, considering I have never seen the paper(s) that said this, but based on a comparison between my mother and my father, my mother is most definitely the one with foresight, rather than my father. My brother will agree with this.
Even the way they argue reveals their love of appearance over substance.
I would love to see the empirical evidence for this.
Instead of addressing the merits of an argument, women in general will focus on the way you argue; if your point hurts their feelings, they will complain about your intentions. If your argument upsets their beliefs, they will scold you for lacking manners. Women place priority on their feelings above all else.
Sir, you have made many statements, but I would very much like to see the empirical scientific evidence backing this. If for no other reason, they will make for an interesting read. A rational and reasoned argument cites irrefutable facts. Just because you say something is that way doesn’t mean it is.
Reason and common sense come in a distant second. Discovering the painful truth is less important to a woman than maintaining her pleasurable delusions.
I could argue that a man saying men are superior to women because all women think in the same emotional (weak) way and all women are physically weaker than all men is maintaining a pleasurable delusion about his own worth rather than facing the painful truth that he, might not, in fact, be superior to every woman who exists in the world. Without male guidance, women invariably neglect to consider the viewpoint of others.
As Florence Nightingale once said:
“In one sense, I do believe I am “like a man,” as Parthe [the writer’s sister] says. But how? In having sympathy. […] Women crave for being loved, not for loving. They scream out at you for sympathy all day long, they are incapable of giving any in return, for they cannot remember your affairs long enough to do so. […]They cannot state a fact accurately to another, nor can that other attend to it accurately enough for it to become information. Now is not all this the result of want of sympathy?”
“The Life of Florence Nightingale: 1862-1910, Sir Edward Tyas Cook, p. 15.”
Florence Nightingale, as amazing as she is, is human and fallible, and she is merely speaking her opinion, which she is allowed to have. And I am allowed to disagree with her. I have known very strong women who are not very big on sympathy at all. One example I would cite is Elizabeth I, Queen of England, who ushered in England’s golden age, some would say.
Thus, women lack the capacity to bear the same heavy responsibilities that men bear.
Yet, because of feminism’s reckless encouragement, women happily volunteer to “steer” the lives of others, oblivious to the dangerous situations they create; a feminist society lowers academic, professional and civil service standards to accommodate women’s irresponsible desire to accept duties they were never designed to fulfil.
Then why is it that according to statistics, boys are achieving less than girls at school?
Consequently, our schools, our economy and our lives must all sit in the passenger seat, waiting for the inevitable crash.
Instead of respecting the male leadership role, women in feminist societies are conditioned to ignore necessary gender limitations. Add to this academic institutions that defer to women and the result is a legal system that now bullies men into submission while encouraging women to seize or circumvent male authority. These damaging effects can be felt in all areas of life, especially when men try to lead social interactions with women. Instead of respecting this male duty, women will attempt to subvert male authority by degrading male social status. As a result, condescending remarks about lack of friends, lack of social savvy, unattractive appearance or desperation are not uncommon. Such women often condemn male greetings by refusing to make eye contact or offering sarcastic, insulting remarks.
I am a feminist. I have never insulted a man simply because he is a man. Rather, I judge each person based on his or her own merit. Some of the people I look up to most are confident gentlemen who respect women as their equals.
Enduring this type of adversarial social interaction is commonplace for males in feminist societies.
Are you sure it’s not your attitude that’s getting you this reaction from the ladies?
Not only is male attention taken for granted, masculinity itself is routinely mocked by women focused on dominating their male counterparts. There are extreme feminists, and there are not so extreme feminists. Maybe some feminists are like this, but just because some men are abusive bastards who beat and rape women to boost their own egos doesn’t mean all men are like that. In fact, most men aren’t. So why are you so sure all feminists hate men?
Feminist regard the feminine disposition with contempt, preferring instead to adopt an aggressive and condescending style of communication. Such women view courtship as a competition rather than a cooperative effort. Feminism advocates this competitive approach to dating under the assumption that men favour challenging women. However, this competitive dating philosophy actually hinders the development of romantic relationships. It forces women to sacrifice their most essential feminine value—their submissive attitude.
Regarding the submissive attitude, it is only your opinion that it is a woman’s most valued attribute. My brother is very fond of strong women who can stand up to their male counterparts and sometimes beat them. So obviously, what you value in a woman is not the same as what my brother values, and definitely not the same as what I value.
As a result, women find themselves living in a general state of fear—lacking direction, security and emotional comfort. Their relationships are characterized by bitter power struggles over leadership and resentful negotiations of gender roles. Not surprisingly, these unstable unions usually fail, contributing to the epidemic divorce rate and mounting social isolation felt in feminist societies. It should be no surprise then that Sweden, the most feminist society in the world, has the highest divorce rate of all at 54.9%! Which is still rising!
Maybe they figured out they married the wrong people? What if it’s an abused wife leaving her abusive husband? What if it’s a cheating husband leaving his wife for another woman? What if it’s a husband leaving his cheating wife? Infidelity on both sides, by the way, existed way before feminism. It is better to be happily divorced than to be bitterly married. Marriage is not a dominant-submissive relationship. At least, it shouldn’t be. It should be a relationship of love and mutual respect.
“Equality is a slogan based on envy. It signifies in the heart of every republican: “Nobody is going to occupy a place higher than I.”
“There is, in fact, a manly and lawful passion for equality which excites men to wish all to be powerful and honoured. This passion tends to elevate the humble to the rank of the great; but there exists also in the human heart a depraved taste for equality, which impels the weak to attempt to lower the powerful to their own level, and reduces men to prefer equality in slavery to inequality with freedom.”
— Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy In America
“I have a passionate love for liberty, law, and respect for rights.” – Alexis de Tocqueville, Democracy In America.
You may have equality by keeping down those who are on high, and you may have equality by bringing up those who are at the bottom. Feminism is the latter. For centuries, women have been oppressed and judged by men. Who was it that said our function was to be breeding machines and housewives? A man. Who was it that said our minds were inferior to men’s? A man. Modern feminism does not seek to drag men down, but it seeks to bring women up, to make them realize that they, too, can have what their brothers have. We do not do this by attacking men, but by following the examples of those who are successful. My role model is Orlando Bloom, a man who respects women and who has achieved great things. Barack Obama respects women, and he’s the president of the United States.
Feminists bombard society with sound bites like “gender equality” and “social diversity,” but beneath this façade of feel-good sentiments and moral posturing lies an ugly truth: feminism conditions women to believe they unilaterally deserve what men have earned.
In order to get what some men have earned, women also have to earn it. Julia Gillard had to partake in an election and be voted Prime Minister in Australia just like her male counterparts. She didn’t get up there because she was a woman. She got up there because people thought she would do a good job. It wouldn’t have mattered if her name were Julian Gillard.
As a result, women feel entitled to male authority.
A man like you feels entitled to authority that you might not have necessarily earned.
However, feminism fails to inform women about the heavy price that must be paid by those in authority positions. To women, leadership merely translates into the acquisition of personal benefits. Sacrificing themselves to meet the needs of those under their care—even if it means forfeiting their lives—never even occurs to them. Nor do they realize that a leader’s decisions are audited for competence and accountability.
That is their choice. If they have that ability to contribute in that way, and they want to, why shouldn’t they? Women have the same responsibility for humanity as men do. We are, after all, part of this world and this society. Female leaders understand what they’re up against. They know what they stand to lose. Helen Clark knew. Julia Gillard knows.
Women foolishly assume their gender will forever exempt them from the responsibilities placed on those in authority positions.
Some men foolishly assume their gender will exempt them from competition.
Females possess a nature designed to complement that of males.
So all females have one nature, just as all men have one nature? We are all individuals. Every man is different. Every woman is different.
Yet, feminism compels women to abandon this symbiotic design
Did you know that female T-Rex are bigger and stronger than their male counterparts? But they also complement their male counterparts in that they have vaginas and the male has a penis.
in favour of competing with males. Contempt for male authority defines the modern woman. Her lack of submission reveals a damaging cultural trend—hatred of healthy gender roles.
Instead of tending to feminine functions like nurturing, supporting and comforting,
I don’t know where you got the idea that simply because a person has breasts and a vagina, they’re nurturing, supporting, and comforting.
she abandons them for masculine functions like disciplining, planning and leading.
So if there’s a group of men, and one’s the alpha male who does all the disciplining, planning, and leading, while the others follow him because he’s a leader and they don’t do any of the three, does it mean they’re not men? Planning, disciplining, and leading are not purely male traits. Mothers do a LOT of these things. So do big sisters. While fathers can also be nurturing, comforting, and supportive.
Through feminism’s short-sighted quest for “gender equality,” women have been deceived into hating their natural function. Instead they’ve been taught to covet male functions in order to feel valuable.
Functions have no gender.
Essentially, feminism causes women to hate the very reason men value them—their feminine nature.
My brother likes strong, independent, devious women. So, not all men value women for their submissive and sweet natures. You should put it like this, Mr Smith: “Feminism causes women to hate the very reason I value them.”
Also, what is a feminine nature? Women have never been all soft and nurturing and comforting and submissive from the get-go. Look at Cleopatra, Eleanor of Aquitaine, Elizabeth I of England, Queen Victoria, Margaret Thatcher. If leadership were not innate in these women, who lived in a time when men lorded over women, they would never have achieved what they achieved.
By condemning this complementary aspect, feminism erodes our social structure. Feminism’s irresponsible handling of common gender interests also infects the national economy. As more women are artificially introduced into the workforce via affirmative action hiring policies, money that should rightfully be distributed to men is lost. This restricts the financial means of males and further prevents men from caring for those under their authority. Today, most women still expect men to pay for their dates, relying on the traditional model of female dependence. But feminism’s insistence upon forcing females into male-oriented careers undermines the symbiotic nature of functional gender roles. Women desiring children or dependence on male financial care incur society’s contempt. Housewives feel like pariahs. Others become seduced by the promise of social status assigned to those pursuing authoritative careers. Yet their romantic lives suffer.
What if they don’t care about romance? Strong women have found romance also. Helen Clark has a husband. And sometimes submissive wives get beaten by their domineering husbands because the husband needs an ego boost or someone on whom he can let off steam because he is a loser and everyone around him knows it. The only one he can turn on is someone who will tolerate him.
Your so-called social structure and gender roles are a set of norms imposed by one group upon another, making them believe that they are weaker so that they might be controlled. They limit men as much as they do women. A boy who wants to be a dancer or a fashion designer is belittled because people think it’s too ‘feminine’. Yet some of the best dancers and fashion designers in the world are men.
By belittling functional gender roles, feminism makes it impossible for healthy relationships to survive. Because feminism fails to differentiate between equality of person and equality of function this leads to a grave misunderstanding of the worth of women. Consider the human body. The foot plays a different role than the eye. Both carryout different but equally essential functions. Without the foot, the eye cannot go anywhere. And without the eye, the foot cannot see where it is going. Both foot and eye are unequal in function, but both equally necessary to the body. Their value is not determined by comparison. Their value is determined by how well each fulfils its individual function. Since both functions are vital, the foot and eye will always be equal in worth.
Men too possess their own natural advantages in the form of superior physical strength and superior mental prowess.
Scientific proof for the latter, please. Research has never shown that women are less intelligent than men.
However, when men seek to benefit from their own natural advantages, feminists cry foul. No longer are men allowed to freely compete for jobs that suit their natural capacity.
Actually, they have just as much right as any woman to put in an application, and they are all considered by sensible employers who don’t care about their employees’ genders, but just about how well they can do their jobs.
Nor are men allowed to demand that women pay their fair share of dating expenses.
Actually, they are. Or in one case: http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff-nation/8308671/First-date-disasters-Park-life
Instead, men must now contend with affirmative action quotas and sexist social expectations like chivalry—both designed to nullify natural male gender advantages.
As a feminist, I believe in chivalry for both sexes. I will hold open a door for a guy who has both hands full of groceries or books or whatnot.
While women’s natural gender advantages are celebrated, men’s natural gender advantages are denounced as misogynistic tools of oppression.
Heterosexual women don’t hate penises and testicles. Honest.
By negating male gender advantages through legal intimidation, feminism removes male authority and places it in the hands of women.
Honestly, if men are so much more superior than women, then women would not have been able to seize anything from them. The fact that you think women have taken something from men is a hint that you think there’s a chance that men might actually be inferior to women and therefore there’s a chance men could lose in this so called ‘war of the sexes’. A confident man, however, would never think that he needed to oppress women to achieve something in life.
Thus, while women are taught to indignantly clamour for ‘equality,’ they are also conditioned to ignore the hypocrisy of capitalizing on their own innate gender advantages. This not only ruins relationships, it also places society in a dire economic situation.
Feminism ruins relationships. Today, feminism indoctrinates unsuspecting children with its gender homogenization ideology—“Everybody is equal!”. Instead of appreciating healthy gender distinctions, boys and girls are taught that they can’t be valuable unless they perform the exact same roles as the other gender.
Actually, gender equality means all children are taught they can excel at whatever pursuit, no matter whether they’re considered to be masculine or feminine, and still be valued.
Women are conditioned to believe they have no value to society apart from acquiring male strength and intelligence.
Apart from people like you, there is nothing to say that strength and intelligence are male attributes.
On the other hand, males accomplishments are belittled to decrease the appearance of any gender differences. In fact, males are even shamed into mimicking the less aggressive female sex drive.
Women like sex too. That’s why there are vibrators.
Women are coddled to inflate their abilities. Men are shamed to lessen their dominance. Thus, the feminist definition of equality isn’t concerned with those below you. It’s only interested in making sure no one is above you.
Actually, aren’t you very interested in making sure there aren’t any women above you to lessen the competition?
It is a shallow attempt to guard the female self-esteem at the cost of society’s welfare. Feminism wrecks the potential for healthy relationships.
Only in relationships with male chauvinists who think they’re entitled to authority and superiority because of their gender. Then again, it wouldn’t be a healthy relationship to begin with, regardless of whether the woman is submissive or strong.
It deceives women into thinking that men are only attracted to females who compete for male authority. Thus, it actually fosters a competitive relationship between the genders. Instead of relying on each other as healthy socialization dictates, men and women now fight each other for jobs, resources, status, praise, etc. Sentiments like “I don’t need a man” and “I’m strong and independent” were initially intended to impress men;
Actually, it’s for women themselves to express how they feel about themselves. I am strong and independent, and romance is like…number thirty on my list of priorities.
however, this rejection of necessity is now employed as a weapon against men, undermining any potential for order in relationships.
What about the men who choose to be single? They certainly don’t seem to think romance is a necessity. The world is overpopulated. It doesn’t actually need more kids, so if there are people who want to be single and child free, let them, and the couples who want babies can have babies without completely overbalancing the ecosystem.
By encouraging competition between the genders,
There is no gender war. I get along very well with educated and intelligent men who appreciate reason and empirical evidence.
attraction is ultimately being sabotaged. Thus, the only thing left to appreciate is their physical appearance, which also links to the rape culture.
Are you speaking for yourself? Rape, by the way, is not about attraction. It’s about exerting power over someone and making them feel completely weak and powerless because it makes the rapist feel strong and in charge.
The media and pop psychology even denigrate functional relationships by assigning “dependence” a negative connotation. Weakness is vilified. Submission is condemned. Limitation is scorned. Deferring to a man is equated with defeat.
Well, if dependence, weakness, submission, limitation, and deference are all so great, you could try being submissive and defer to me? I really wouldn’t mind. I mean, I’m a bossy kind, and I wouldn’t mind dominating over you at all.
Leading a woman is deemed barbaric. However, these so-called experts fail to realize that life has always been a matter of dependence. No living person ever graduates from eating, drinking or breathing. The human life depends on so many conditions and limitations to thrive.
Indeed, but we need not be completely dependent on another person. People have died for economical freedom. I think we should honour their sacrifice.
True independence equates to death. Tables and chairs don’t depend on anyone for anything because they lack life.
They depend on the carpenter though.
The less you depend on others, the nearer you move to your grave. Thus, avoiding death means recognizing your need for life. So…a man who is the breadwinner doesn’t really depend on anyone. At least, not directly in the way a housebound wife is dependent. Does that mean he’s as alive as the pavement beneath his feet?
People who neglect their necessities or fail to realize they are limited by necessity, soon find out that no human can truly live an independent life. Yet today’s dysfunctional society abhors dependence. Everywhere you look, independence is celebrated.From our worship of individualism to our ‘dog eat dog’ business attitude,
Sorry, dude, but nature’s all about dog-eat-dog. It’s called natural selection. And if someone can’t beat someone of the other gender, it means they were never good enough in the first place.
we’re plagued with messages commanding us to be different from everyone else.
We are all different. No two people are alike. If we weren’t, we’d be drones.
We’re taught to flee from our parents as soon as possible. We’re cautioned to avoid depending on others.
Because most of the time, other people can’t be trusted completely. Like I said, natural selection, and trusting people fall into traps. You can’t be betrayed by your enemy. You’re always betrayed by your friend.
We’re shamed into hiding our weaknesses and lying about our failures, just to feel like we don’t need anyone else.
We need other people, but a woman doesn’t necessarily need a man and a man doesn’t necessarily need a woman.
John, this is your opinion, and you’re free to express it. But just know you haven’t convinced me at all, and all I want to say is if you one day have a daughter who is capable of leading a nation because she has the brains and strength to do it, like Australian prime minister Julia Gillard and former New Zealand prime minister Helen Clark, you’ll be supportive of her and encourage her, rather than force her to get married and become a housewife against her will. I will leave your comment up here for my other readers to peruse and think about, but as far as I’m concerned, you have provided no evidence about the harms of feminism.
Your arguments smell strongly of insecurity. Only a man who thinks he’s inferior to all women would try and keep them down through unfounded generalizations so they won’t become his competition. A confident man or woman would welcome the challenge and the opportunity to discover new talent.
Insecurity is not an attractive trait, either in a man or a woman.
I’ve put my answers in your answers. You cannot convince me, and as far as I’m concerned, I’ve said everything I need to say. I remain a feminist and more convinced than ever that we need to spread the idea of gender equality.
Please grow up.
You are invited to a LIVE debate with either Professor Reginald Plum or Dr. LeDice.
Here you can be accountable for your views, and let the public see your thoughts. Only the sound will be recorded and the voices will be distorted. The Professor would clear everything up, you can talk about anything: rape, equality, wage gap ……………… He knows it all. There you will find all the answers to your questions, without needing to type and hide behind keyboards.
http://manhood101.com/forum/posting.php?mode=post&f=30
You need to register.
Once registered, type in the box on what your position is about feminism, equality or anything you want answers for.
Hope you accept the invitation.
By the way, about the Professor, he to strongly opposed to feminism and he claims he has never met a women as intelligent as him. He also agrees that women should not be allowed to work and are generally less intelligent.
I don’t care enough about what a small bunch of insecure men think to waste precious time on an argument that’s not going to go anywhere or change anything . Your professor will not change my mind because science has never proved anything you’ve claimed. I’ve said everything I need to say. My real photo has been there the whole time. If anyone’s been hiding behind a keyboard, it’s you.
This is just annoying. Let me say this plainly. Men are generally scared due to not feeling weight on their body while women have to suffer of birthing a child. Whoever the individual is in both of them, he/she will use what they learn that will form their individual core. I am sick and tired of my physical brethen who are male because of their bigotry while women sometimes do complain about their life. The only culprit is the class with jobs who are able to make money and somehow have the right to tell someone who doesn’t have their jobs and mastery at a skill to bring them down. if they mean it, it will be very crushing to any individual. But, if someone not just care, but also teaches with patience the next generation, there can be a better hope. Just think of the story of Pandora’s box. When she opened the box, all evils came out including hope, which has a serious impact on her. This is quite a story and something to learn especially from Zeu’s part.
Well,i am impressed how trolls have no emphaty for women´s suffering…and to discuss with them is a big waste of time;now i understand why feminists in America are in teh way they are.Many guys their do think we were created to be their servers and sexual-objets.Besides,they( the guys in question) love to call it “freedom of speech” and play the victim when we women strike back.Nothing more sexist and disrespectfull than that.
Chinese girl,it´s called “masculinism” in the West,or MRA,a group of men who defend sexism as the “solution for the chaotic world created by feminists”.No matter what we say,they deny and come up with offenses…and they expect us to listen to them,because they know more about women´s issue them us,real women!! What a joke….we are nothing but sub-human for men with such mind.
By the way,excelent blog ,we women should speak out about the harms our sexist cultures do to us and this guy Smith is the proove that there are still lot of to do in the path.
“John Smith”: it’s cowardly to post such a lengthy diatribe against feminism and still hide behind a false name. If you really believe in what you’re telling to the owner of this blog you need to show your real name.
As for the lions you mention.. Did you know that female hyenas are bigger than males and their clitoris is shaped like a giant penis? These females mate with both females and males (by mounting the male from behind like another male). The females dominate the pack and the males get the scraps after a kill. Sexism is not universal and animal species are changing all the time, including human beings. As a species I hope we are marching towards gender equality.
Thanks for posting this. It feels wonderful to know that I am not alone in this. Everyone around me is blatantly ignorant about the sexism in our culture till it deeply frustrates. It pains me when I see hurtful comments going against feminism. I feel so glad for your post, I feel like I am going to cry.
I love this post and you’ve highlighted many despicable practices in Chinese society that demonstrate extreme male favoritism. It’s ironic how Chinese culture continues to devalue girls and women with practices like female infanticide (murdering babies, essentially) but aging parents very conveniently will expect a grown daughter to care for them in their old age. What is even more tragic is that many of us, as educated Chinese women across the world, do not firmly impose our own will and desires on our family’s and society’s expectations. Paranoid thinking, such as the belief that a woman is “too old to marry” after the age of 27, is still pervasive in China. This is a nation of backwards hicks when it comes to gender equality. I hope that the increasing empowerment and visibility of Chinese women in business and industry will alter antiquated beliefs about women.
That’s interesting; I had no clue that women weren’t recorded in Chinese family trees. I do see that as disrespectful, and indicative of the Chinese mindset that women don’t matter.
My brother is engaged to a girl who is ethnically Chinese. Her parents were actually born in China, but she was born in Canada (where I also live). I like her family, but one thing bothers me about them: the blatant sexism. They have explicitly stated to my family and myself that girls are nothing in Chinese culture. Men are allowed to sit back and relax in social situations, but girls MUST either be serving them, or in the kitchen preparing food for them. They are not allowed to sit down and socialize with the men. They’ve given a number of other examples of Chinese sexism as well, and I find it despicable. I realize that it’s part of their culture, and while I respect Chinese culture in general, I cannot accept the negative attitudes towards women. Claiming that it is your custom to discriminate and devalue women doesn’t mean that it’s acceptable. The west used to be incredibly sexist too, and while sexism is still alive and well, at least we’ve taken action against it and have made progress in women’s rights.
Now, let me say that I am not a radical feminist. I don’t believe women are better than men or deserve special treatment. Rather, I’m a liberal feminist–I believe men and women are EQUAL and should be treated as such. They should have equal rights and responsibilities. That doesn’t mean they’re the same (since I believe we can all agree there are some significant biological differences between the two sexes), but it does mean that they have equal value. Women aren’t beneath men, and men aren’t beneath women. I hate it when people ignorantly claim otherwise, and I don’t think any woman–regardless of her ethnicity or culture–should grow up believing she’s worth less than a man.
Wow, the discussion here got really hot!
Well, the world is different. I personally agree with the view of author about sexism, but at the same time… I feel like globalization is to blame here. I feel like, the world should be different and we have to have people with absolutely different views about same topic.
The problem here, is that many of us think that their point of view is right, and obvious and let’s stone everybody, who disagrees with our graceful point of view. But we will never be able to live long enough to actually experience life where such approach to women in a family tree is acceptable, and where it is not.
At the end of the day, Chinese culture is thriving. It doesn’t mean it is thriving because of that. But it also means, that it is possible to create a beautiful and long lasting culture with such views. Maybe it is not a “disrespect”. Maybe your men have to find another good way to make you feel respected and appreciated
Thriving, or stagnating?
From what I can see, it’s not evolving or progressing. Yes, it’s long lasting, thanks to a huge population that doesn’t like change and tries to oppress change. What new art has come out of Chinese culture aside from Ai Wei Wei, whose ideas have a distinctly “western” bent? What new music? What new musical instruments? What new inventions belong to modern China? Do non-Chinese want to emulate the Chinese?
American culture, for all its faults, inspires envy in non-Americans. We eat American, we wear American, we watch American television, read American books, consume American art, not because we have no choice but because we want to. American words leak into our modern lexicon. American music is everywhere. Granted, what defines ‘American’ is another thing because it is so diverse, but there are some core cultural values that are distinctly American and that people admire. That, for me, is what defines a thriving culture. It’s something that other people want to adopt.
F_Le_Rulz I completely agree with almost everything you said except these lines:
And if someone can’t beat someone of the other gender, it means they were never good enough in the first place.
— If you cant beat someone it means he is stronger, not that you were never good in the first place. That would suggest you believe that every person is determined by some fate as to how high or low he can reach. In my opinion that is quite short-sighted and not true at all. On the contrary some people need repeated failure in order to ignite their potential. There is always someone better than you.
Because most of the time, other people can’t be trusted completely. Like I said, natural selection, and trusting people fall into traps. You can’t be betrayed by your enemy. You’re always betrayed by your friend.
We need other people, but a woman doesn’t necessarily need a man and a man doesn’t necessarily need a woman.
— If you cannot trust even a single person, you must lead a very lonely and desolate life. I mean you can be all independent and have great achievements and all but so what? In the end you dont have a partner(yes a partner, not everyone likes the opposite sex) with whom you can share it, does it even matter? Does it have any worth if you have none to share your achievements or sorrows?
Humans are social creatures, we need others for social interactions, you cant deny it, because thats our nature.
By the way in todays society of severe specialization, you need to depend on others even more than in the past. You require food, water and other daily necessities. And other people will depend on you to provide them with what you specialize in. Unless you are fully self sufficient in all this you will always need to depend on others. Of course if you have to acquire all of it by yourself, you wont have any spare time for other things.