Right now…

That’s a really dumb title, but I can’t think of anything for the time being. Right now, I’ve just finished one history lecture, and am waiting for the lecturer to put the notes up on the internet so I can download them and print them. The internet is a blessing and a curse. It’s a blessing because it saves me from having to learn short hand for taking notes, and I don’t have to worry if I miss things, but it’s also a curse because now that I’m so dependent on it, I can’t live without it. Without the world wide web, I would be lost, with no information, no social life etc.

How did it ever come to this? I used to be a technophobe, not touching the computer for more than two hours a week, and only during the weekends. I suppose I have modern culture to thank, and my desire to communicate with other people who share the same interests as I do. Being a writer means that you’re a minority in this sea of people. Most people whom I meet and see on a day to day basis don’t want to hold discussions about what Tolkien meant when he wrote this, or what makes good literature, or what would happen if you threw Wolverine from X-men into the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem. They’re not interested. The net’s the place where you discuss these things. Plus, I do think typing looks a lot better than my regular handwriting, and the sound of tapping on keyboards (and the feeling) is very soothing.

I should be working on my history essay, seeing as it’s due next week, but once again, I find myself not wanting to do what I ought to be doing. There’s something thrilling about doing the wrong thing, even if it’s not illegal to be an absolute slacker. It’s warm in the university computer room. Someone has the heaters on. I don’t really know what to write, but I feel like I need to write something. And by that, I mean something that is not complicated, I don’t really have to think about it. I want to write something which my hands can just type out and it’ll be fine. No editing, rewriting or rewording. It’s comforting to be able to do that and think ‘haha, I can type so fast and so well, and I don’t need to look at my fingers’ 😛 It’s nothing to be smug about, but I feel so successful. I’ve come a long way since those days when I didn’t know where the keys were and kept looking at my hands instead of the page of writing or the screen. And I feel successful, considering how long it took me to write anything in those days. Now words can just flow. Most of it’s nonsense, but I feel good about writing something. Here I am, going in circles again. I’m typing for the sake of it, because I don’t want to stop.

I wish I could feel motivated to work on my history essay, but I don’t feel like using the language of academia at the moment. I’ve had enough of it. I need a break. I have exams in four weeks. Not cool. So anyway, maybe I’ll work on my X-men/Lord of the Rings crossover today, since I’ve gotten my web mates interested and excited. On the other hand, I might not.