Saying No

This is a journal entry I wrote today, from a prompt which said ‘I want to say no to…‘. It’s supposed to be about me, but I turned it into an article about something psychological.

Saying No

I want to say no to a lot of things; my parents, junk food, peer pressure, my own sinful desires. Most of the time i’m not strong enough to do it. The word ‘no’ might be simple–two letters, one syllable. It doesn’t look or sound like a lot. But whether you utter it or not might just determine the course of your life.

Will you marry me? No.

Will you serve me? No

Will you plant this bomb inside the office? No.

It’s also a word, which uttered, might mean the end of friendships, romances, and other relationships. Appearances are deceiving, because the context of ‘no’ is not as simple as it seems. Humans are born with altruism. We want to cooperate and fit in with others. Saying no goes against that aspect of our primal instincts. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard. Saying ‘no’ implies that we’re going against the flow — that we disagree with something/someone. We don’t like that. We want people to agree with us, and that means we have to agree with the others.

Funnily enough, Children are good at saying no to what they don’t want. However, as they grow older, they learn that saying ‘no’ to their parents might mean unpleasant consequences. As if our own altruistic natures are not enough, we are taught that ‘no’ is not a very good word to say. How many times have you swallowed ‘no’ and said ‘yes’ instead? Why did you do it? You probably feared repercussions.

If I don’t say yes, what would everyone else think of me?

If I say no to this man who seems rather menacing, would he hurt me?

We ask ourselves these sorts of questions all the time. The answer is usually the same. I don’t want to know, and I won’t run the risk of finding out. So instead of the ‘no’ that had been on the tip of your tongue, you utter a single yes. That’s not to say that we shouldn’t say yes, but there will be times when you don’t want to. Those are the times when we should say no, since we mean it. Saying yes when you mean no is a form of lying, and lying is a sin. Will you rub my feet, massage my back, pare my nails, brush my teeth and cook me a five course dinner? Heck no, of course not. Give me a million dollars. No way Jose.

Obviously, there’s an ‘or else’ that accompanies that last demand. So the ‘no’ is an indication of your spiritual strength. We all want to think of ourselves as having strong spirits, but do we really. The only way to find out is to be brutally honest and try not to say yes when we mean no. Can you do it? Yes? That’s great. You don’t need to be reading this.

Now this time, I’m sure no one wants to say no. Ironic isn’t it? Can you say no? No. But you just said it.

No; the deceiving, seemingly simple and yet profound two letter one syllable word which computerized anagram games won’t accept because it is too short. It’s hard to use though, and at times, potentially practical (or impractical)

Should I stave off exercising today? Now I just have to muster the strength to say no.