With You, I’ll Be Only Sibylla (Part 10)

Disclaimer: Kingdom of Heaven is directed by Sir Ridley Scott and written by William Monahan. I don’t own any of it, and I’m not making any profit. I’m just borrowing the story and the characters and making my own interpretation.

 

Chapter 10: The Pain of Love

 

To be confused was one of the most tormenting feelings that a man could have. The horse moved of its own accord underneath him. It knew its way home, but Balian, unlike his horse, did not know exactly where he would go next, or where he actually wanted to go. He held the reins loosely, all the while battling the urge to go back and beg Sibylla for forgiveness, even though he had done nothing wrong. His heart ached. He longed for her, loved her, and he would gladly die for her, but he could not sell his soul, not even for his Sibylla.

 

‘Did you know?’ he asked Godfrey inside his head. ‘Did you know that to be a knight meant that I would have to suffer?’ He felt the phantom sting as he remembered the slap that the old knight had given him at his knighting ceremony. Yes, of course Godfrey had known. He himself had been a knight, and he had told Balian through that slap that he would suffer. The man closed his eyes. He should be accepting this all with good grace; he had come to Jerusalem for forgiveness, after all, and this was his penance. However, his heart would not accept it quietly. He was torn.

 

“I do love you,” he whispered into the cool night breeze, half hoping that it would carry his words to his princess.

With You, I’ll Be Only Sibylla (Part 9)

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything. Kingdom of Heaven belongs to Sir Ridley Scott and William Monahan, and History.

 

Chapter 9: A Kingdom of Conscience

 

Doors were meant for protection; those leading to Sibylla’s quarters were made to keep out any unwelcome presence. Inside was her refuge; a place of peace and safety in the middle of Jerusalem’s dark undercurrents and courtly intrigues. The colours and hangings had all been chosen for the tranquillity they represented. The inner chambers were sheltered from the heat, but with the coming of evening, they would be graced for a short while, with the dying golden light of the sun as it set over the heart of Christendom.

 

The princess loved the security she felt when she was in her sanctuary; it was like being in the warm loving embrace of her old nurse, who had long since passed away. When she returned this afternoon, she expected to find her son there, playing or completing the tasks set by his tutor. What she saw gave her a most unpleasant shock. Guy had gone too far; he had invaded her haven and worse yet, he was with her son, telling her boy how he ought to arrange his pewter figures. The man had his back to her, but she could hear him quite clearly. “Always surround your knights with foot-soldiers,” he told the boy.

With You, I’ll Be Only Sibylla (Part 8)

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything that you recognize. It all belongs to Sir Ridley Scott, William Monahan, and History.

 

Chapter 8: To Offer the World

 

The city was cool and quiet, its inhabitants still slumbering. Balian walked with Sibylla down to the courtyard, where her servants were waiting with the horses. No one spoke. It was their master’s secret, and they had no desire for anyone in the court to find out. Godfrey had entrusted Balian to them, and they would keep him safe. It was all they could do to pay their old master back for his kindness.

 

“God keep you, my lord,” said Sibylla.

 

“God does not know me,” replied Balian. There was a gentle smile on his lips. He stood beside her horse and cupped his hands, allowing her to place her foot on them to boost herself up into the saddle. She longed to cup his face, to kiss him there and then in the courtyard, but she could not. That would almost be signing his death warrant.

 

***

 

Raymond was deep in thought, as always. Sibylla was a hard woman to predict. Even he, who had watched her grow up, still did not truly understand her. At the moment, she seemed to speak about Balian all the time, praising his virtues, as if no one else knew about them. In fact, it seemed as if she was in love with him. He knew she had visited his house; that was no secret. However, what did she really want?

 

The Marshal paced outside the king’s chamber. He could hear urgent murmurs, but he could not make out the words. It seemed as if Bishop Heraclius, Patriarch of Jerusalem, was in there with the ailing sovereign. What was that old fox trying to do? The murmuring stopped. The king had won the argument, whatever it had been about. Moments later, the patriarch emerged. He did not even deign to glance at Raymond. Perhaps he had not even seen the count; surely his mind was on more serious matters.

With You, I’ll Be Only Sibylla (Part 6)

Disclaimer: Kingdom of Heaven belongs to Ridley Scott, William Monahan and History. I don’t own any of it.

 

Chapter 6: The Key to Her Heart

Sibylla and Balian gazed at each other. Neither of them were willing to part, but they knew that they must. They came from completely different worlds. It was at that moment, when Sibylla felt that she was losing her fight with her emotions, that one of Balian’s men at arms gave a shout. “Somebody’s been shot!” he cried. Balian and Sibylla looked up. Riding up to Ibelin on a bloodstained grey horse was a man, dressed in the livery of the Royal court. He was draped over the horse, barely conscious.

 

Almaric rushed over to catch the frightened animal while Rollo, the Norman mercenary, relieved the man of his message. “My lord,” he said after reading it. “The king is marching on Kerak.”

 

“Kerak?” said Balian. Why would the king be marching on Kerak. He snatched the missive from Rollo. The baron immediately recognized Tiberias’ writing, and he had orders for Balian. “Protect the villagers,” the king had commanded. Balian glanced at Sibylla and then back down at the king’s missive. He had a duty to his princess, but also to the people of the kingdom. To protect one was to abandon another. He could not let Sibylla return to Jerusalem alone, not while there were bandits about. She was a princess; a vulnerable prize. Then again, those villagers outside Kerak were just as vulnerable and defenseless, if not more so. He was torn.

With You, I’ll Be Only Sibylla (Part 5)

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters, the plot, or anything. All of Kingdom of Heaven belongs to Sir Ridley Scott and William Monahan, and History.

 

Warning: Implications of adult themes

Chapter 5: The World Will Decide

 

Sibylla lay awake, staring into the darkness. Beside her, Balian lay slumbering, his chest rising and falling with deep even breaths. The sheets were twisted from their lovemaking. The princess’ hair lay loose on the pillow. She glanced outside. A full moon had risen; pale, round, perfect, save for the darker smudges which marked its face. It was like the all-seeing eye of God.

 

What had she done? She’d committed adultery with a man she hardly knew. And yet, she knew very well that she loved him. How else could she explain her feelings? His very presence warmed her heart. He made her feel cherished, precious. He made her feel human, instead of just a figurehead or a pawn which was to be used in the struggle for power. Balian cared nothing for the power which a relationship with her would bring. She knew he loved her, even though he’d never told her.

With You, I’ll Be Only Sibylla (Part 3)

Disclaimer: This is based on Sir Ridley Scott’s brilliant film, Kingdom of Heaven. I’m just borrowing the characters and the main plot, and I get no profit, only enjoyment

Chapter 3: A Few Yards of Silk

Sibylla opened the door to the inner chamber just a little bit so that she could see her son. The boy had his back to the door. He sat amongst cushions, talking to himself as he moved his pewter soldiers around and fought imaginary battles. Arabic words were scattered through his speech. Love filled her. It hadn’t seemed so long since he’d been a tiny helpless baby in her arms. She stepped in as quietly as possible, so as to not disturb him, but her long silken dress got caught on one of his toys. Little Baldwin looked up when he heard his mother come in. He grinned and ran into her open arms. “Maman!” he said. “I thought you were dining with the lords.”

With You, I’ll Be Only Sibylla (Part 2)

Disclaimer: I don’t own the characters or the storyline. This story is based on Sir Ridley Scott’s brilliant film, Kingdom of Heaven.

Chapter 2: The Very Best of Wives

Sibylla was in a dream, or so she felt. For the first time in after her marriage to Guy, she found herself dreaming about a man. And it was not her husband.

The reins were loose in her hands, and she let her horse plod on. The animal knew its way back to the royal stables. In the meantime, she was happy to just savour the freedom of being out of the palace. The air was filled with the scent of spices, with the underlying taint of sweat and waste. In a sense, it was like the Kingdom itself. On the surface, everything seemed holy and perfect. They were the bulwark against the Saracens. They were God’s chosen people, dedicating their lives to fighting for Him and defending Christendom. But then, were they really fighting for God?

Chance Encounter and Other Fanfiction

Um, yes, I have not written for a day, or was it two? I seriously can’t remember. Not that there’s much happening in my life. I’ve been glued to computers, and criticizing bad writing on the net. Oh, and I plowed through five history books on the crusades while researching stuff for my essay. That in itself might not be a spectacular achievement, but I did it in an hour and a half. (No, I did not read them cover to cover)

This morning, while I was still woozy with sleep, I opened my inbox, and lo and behold, there was an email informing me that my story, Chance Encounter, had been nominated for the 2008 Middle Earth Fanfiction Awards. That was very exciting. For one, Chance Encounter was completed in 2007, and I hadn’t expected people to mention any more of it. Secondly, it’s a crossover. Those things hardly ever qualify as serious literature, even by fanfiction terms. And at the beginning, I thought the language was slightly forced. It matures over the chapters as I get the hang of it and develop my own writing style, which includes a lot of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ style jokes.

My greatest achievement with fanfiction, in my opinion, is that I managed to persuade people to watch the Director’s Cut of Kingdom of Heaven. (Watch it if you haven’t already. It’s a brilliant film, and the characters are very deep. You hardly get those anymore, at least not from Hollywood.)

Speaking of fanfiction, I have recently come to realize that the quality of writing has a huge range. The very worst and the very best, all gathered at one place. I consider myself somewhere amongst the average lot. There are a lot of brilliant writers who deserve to win the Pulitzer prize, and some who deserve the literary version of Razzies. Lately, I’ve taken to leaving criticism where it’s needed. I’ve often said that I hate analyzing literature, and here I am, doing it for the sake of doing it. Mostly, I stick with commenting on Mary Sues. Slash and incest…I can’t bear it. Some of the people who write fanfiction have something seriously wrong with their minds.

 

With you, I’ll be only Sibylla (Part 1)

Disclaimer: This is based on Sir Ridley Scott’s brilliant film, Kingdom of Heaven. I don’t own any of the characters.

Summary: The account of the end of the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem, as seen from the point of view of the most important woman in the kingdom, Princess Sibylla of Jerusalem.

Chapter 1: Meeting the Baron

The hooves of her horse thundered beneath her. She could feel the animal’s powerful muscles bunching up. For a moment, she was free, one with the wind. Jerusalem loomed in the distance. Sibylla was reluctant to return. She had not had enough of her freedom, even if it was fleeting and pretensive. Her thoughts wandered back to the days when she’d been a naive girl; a stranger to the bitterness of this world. Oh, she’d been disappointed when her father had married her off to William de Montferrat, a man three times her age. Like any maid, she’d dreamed of a romantic marriage with a handsome young man who would love her and cherish her. William had been kind, but she’d viewed him as more of an uncle than a husband. And then, he’d died, leaving her five months pregnant with the potential heir to the throne.