I remember when I first saw The Lord of the Rings trilogy. It was hugely exciting (it still is, but nothing can compare with the very first impression I got). In modern cinematography, a lot of work goes into the special effects. As writers, we don’t have access to CGI, lighting, sound effects, or atmosphere setting music, so how do we enhance our work so as to make it exciting enough to rival Hollywood blockbusters? The answer: Description.
By description, I don’t just mean saying her dress was black and slinky, or that it was a loud bloody battle. Use metaphors and similes. Compare these images to something else. For example, I could set the scene by saying ‘thunder clashed like army against army. Rain pelted down like arrows, cold and sharp…’ and then follow it up with ‘blood sprayed everywhere, creating a rusty mist.’ In fact, I’ve used this comparison quite a few times, only dressing it up differently each time.
Similes and metaphors can also be used to reveal something about your character. For example, I’m writing about a crusader knight in a fantasy world. He compares everything to the Holy Land or his native France. For example, he would make observations like ‘There was a domed roof like that of a grand cathedral, except this was more magnificent than any cathedral that he had ever seen, with stone pillars taller than the walls of Jerusalem carved from the mountain etc.’ This shows that he is somewhat connected to Christianity (something which you would expect of a Crusader) and he has some knowledge of the fortifications of Jerusalem, which I can then elaborate on and say he actually defended the city or designed the fortifications or whatnot, which in turn leads to the fact that he is good at building things and therefore is an engineer. And while I’m doing this, I’m also describing the setting. Two birds with one stone.
However, don’t overdo the description, because then it becomes purple prose which is universally ridiculed. Stephen King, in his book On Writing, gives a pretty good indication of how much is enough. He says four things at the most, for a person or a setting. If you overdo description, you override the reader’s imagination. Now, maybe you find a certain sort of man appealing (e.g. slim, large gentle eyes, clean shaven etc.) but the reader might prefer something entirely different (well-muscled, with facial hair, rough calloused hands, predatory gaze like a hawk’s etc.) and if you describe your character too much, the reader might just lose interest because he is not the sort of character which the reader likes, just because of the appearance. I find showing personality to be better than simply describing a person’s appearance at any rate. Mention distinct features like hair colour, eye colour, skin tone and scars, but leave it at that; that’s how I do it. (You might not agree. That’s all right. We all have our own styles.)
For the setting, do not, and I stress this, do not talk about it in technical terms. We do not want to know that the ravine was thirty feet deep, or that the ceiling was only a meter and a half high or something like that. Most people cannot picture numbers in their minds. Describe everything in relation to something else. You could say, if you want to talk about a low ceiling, that the character tried to stand up, and then let out a string of colourful curses because he bumped his head on the rafters or something like that.
I hope that was helpful, and as always, I am happy to discuss anything that I’ve written.
